跪求英语大神给一篇大学英语四级作文范文，标注语法讲解！加翻译更好！（请英语高手帮我点评一下我的四级作文（语法、用词)）

my father

one of my earliest memories of dad is that he would often leave the house at

dawn to go jogging.我对父亲最早的一些记忆之一是他以前常在黎明时离家去慢跑.

解说:a. memory n.记忆;记性, in memory of……为纪念……would often v 以前常常　one of,..之一c. at dawn 在黎明时,表时刻，介同用at， go jogging 去慢跑.表语从句.

he is a traditional chinese father,which means that he didn't show his affection

for his kids easily. 他是一个传统的中国父亲，这意味着他不轻易对儿女表露他的情感.

上列句中的which为关系代词，代替其前整个主句"he is atraditional chinese father" ,

which在所引导的定语从句中作主语，且which之前须加号. show one's affection for…对……表露某人的情感.

and he and i didn't talk much.some time ago, he made me go jogging with him.

而且我和他并不常交谈. 前一阵子，他叫我和他去慢跑

some time一段时间, make+人+动词原形 叫某人从事……

" Mute English"among Chinese students

A phenomonon of "Mute English"appears among Chinese students because they can't TALK IN English to with their classmates ,friends and foreigners.

There are two reasons for this situation.First ,most of Chinese students STUDY English for their examinationS ,they pay more attention to written testS and neglect of spoken language .It is a failURE to ChinA'S education .SecondLY ,many Chinese students are so shy and unconfident in English class THAT they always LISTEN carefully ,but not put up their hands to answer teacher's questions .

If the Chinese students solve this problem ,as I see it ,they must cover the following points:first ,don't study hard for examiationS,but FOR the konwledge; secondLY,they should pay attention to spoken lanuage ; AT last,if they meet the foreigner in A supermarket or A restaurant ,they should talk with the foreign people boldly.

In a word,learning English or another foreign lanuage is AN interesting THING ,not a burden.WE shouldn't study only for examinationS.金大话英语培训网

1, 第二句中：are opened for free.

2,it has a purpose ? 此处最好用，There's a purpose 或者直接用状语从句：nowdays more and more museums are opened for free to attract the people ,especially the students to visit them ,which show the culture relics and the society's develop.

3."It is a beneficial activity."已经下结论?应该是 many people think .....

4 ,free admission have ? 单复数

5，第三段第一句为废话

6，it will lead to the order in mess,中应为 lead the order in mass

7,the public environment is also a serious problem that a part of visitors always throw away the plastic bottles and papers everywhere能看出我哪里改动来了吗?

8 So many workers who work in the museums think that the museums shouldn't opened freely. 中 who work in 去掉，将后面的shoudn't 中的not 提前为，don't think that 后面为肯定句。

9 I think the museum should open freely ,but it can limit the quantity of people every day. BUT 改为AND can -MAY .

10 最后一句中，who 应该去掉，visiting 已经是后置定语。后面的museums去掉。

如果总分25分的话，可以得12分左右。 主题不清晰，是一大问题。