请英语高手帮我点评一下我的四级作文（语法、用词) 请英语高手帮我点评一下我的这篇英语四级作文。

今天金大话教育网小编为大家带来了请英语高手帮我点评一下我的四级作文（语法、用词) 请英语高手帮我点评一下我的这篇英语四级作文。，希望能帮助到大家，一起来看看吧！

本文目录一览：

• 1、请英语高手帮我点评这篇四级作文，万分感谢！
• 2、请英语高手帮我点评一下我的四级作文（语法、用词)
• 3、请英语高手帮我点评一下我的这篇英语四级作文。

请英语高手帮我点评这篇四级作文，万分感谢！

[ . . . ]里面的是增加的单词、句子
( . . . )里面是更改过的单词、句子（语法或拼写错误）
< . . . > 里面是要删掉的单词、句子
【···】需要的时候，中文评论、解释

我把1-2句话隔成了一个段落是为了我修改方便（眼睛看的不会太累），而并不是因为要分段的。

Talent Show(s) on TV

Nowadays, with the developing economy,more and more people [are] pay(ing) their attention to the entertainment [industry].

In this situation, all kinds of talent shows (have) appeared on TV. There are two reasons why talent shows (are becoming) so popular <in the following>.【明白你是想说“以下···”，可是写英文文章的时候，如果要很舒服，很漂亮的，最好避开“请看以下几点”这样的句子】

First(ly), people (have became) richer so they have (enough) money [for] not only <to the eat> [food] and [shelter] <warmth>, but also [for] <to the> entertainment.

In the (modern) world, <the person> [people] work so hard to earn money that they need to relax themselves sometimes. The (recent) appearance of <the> [various] talent shows fit their need(s)【如果光是“the appearance of...”的话，会以为是talent show的长相呢！所以我加了“recent”在前面，这样就表达清楚“（最近）talent show的出现···”的意思了！】.

Moreover, <the> teens <in this time> [today] are more interest(ed) in <the> talent shows. They <are so active that they> spend a lot of time on all kinds of shows.【不是很明白你说的“they are so active that they...”是想说他们很活跃吗？我觉得直接就说重点，“他们放很多时间看不通的节目”】

More and more teens are absorbed in [watching these] talent shows, <so> [as a result,] (these) shows [are] becom(ing) <more and more> [increasingly] popular. 【最好写作的时候不要重复同样的词好几遍，适当的时候要换词用噢！这样给人感觉你词汇量很大～】

<As far as I'm concerned> [Admittingly], I like to watch <the> talent shows on TV [too]. <I think it is very comfortable.>【很舒服？什么很舒服？这句话语法没错，可是完全有点凑字数的感觉，还是不要为好】

[In my opinion,] talent shows are good for <the> teens <in my mind>. The shows [are] always <hold on> [aired during] summer or winter <days> [vacations] so the students can [also] play a part on [the show itself.] <because they also have a long holiday at the same time.>

<They can entertain themselves after a long time study and also can learn a lot of things through the shows.> [After studying for hours at ends, they are able to entertain and relax themselves through the participation of these shows while learning a lot about themselves and everything else.]【嗯，最后一句我基本上全改了，主要是句子太中国英语，词汇量有限】

－－－－－－－－－
总结：
总的来说还是可以的。我觉得LZ主要的问题在于词汇量不够，所以经常会重复一样的称述句形，实际上还有很多不同的说法来表达同样的意思噢。

语法方面要注意时态的表示。the有点用的过多，很多在没有一个特定的“物品”或“人物”的前提下不需要用the（比如说“teens”，如果硬要加the的话，那就是 the teen，指的是一个单独的青少年）。拼写的话，如果我没记错一共有两处，可能是打字的手误吧。

Cheers!

请英语高手帮我点评一下我的四级作文（语法、用词)

" Mute English"among Chinese students
A phenomonon of "Mute English"appears among Chinese students because they can't TALK IN English to with their classmates ,friends and foreigners.
There are two reasons for this situation.First ,most of Chinese students STUDY English for their examinationS ,they pay more attention to written testS and neglect of spoken language .It is a failURE to ChinA'S education .SecondLY ,many Chinese students are so shy and unconfident in English class THAT they always LISTEN carefully ,but not put up their hands to answer teacher's questions .
If the Chinese students solve this problem ,as I see it ,they must cover the following points:first ,don't study hard for examiationS,but FOR the konwledge; secondLY,they should pay attention to spoken lanuage ; AT last,if they meet the foreigner in A supermarket or A restaurant ,they should talk with the foreign people boldly.
In a word,learning English or another foreign lanuage is AN interesting THING ,not a burden.WE shouldn't study only for examinationS.

请英语高手帮我点评一下我的这篇英语四级作文。

金大话英语培训网(https://www.jindahua.cn)小编还为大家带来请英语高手帮我点评一下我的这篇英语四级作文。的相关内容。

简单给你修改了一下：

From the ancient times to the present, there are people thinking that numbers may have magic power and some specific numbers will bring them good luck. Many Chinese businessmen like the number of 8 and they hold that it means prosperity. Most importantly,it will make their business getting better and better. Morover,some high school students,especially those who are about to attend the university entrance examination, like to choose the seats numbered 8,18,28,38 or 58, because they considered the numbers will help them pass the exam or enter universities easily.
Although some people think that good numbers will bring good luck, others hold whatever they are lucky or not, totally unconcerned with the good numbers or bad numbers. They believe in if anyone is working hard or studying hard, he should become a lucky man. On the contrary, lazy people who always stay at home and haven't worked,but he often hope a good number of 8 will bring good luck to themselves, it just a dream!
As far as I'm concerned,I think it is absurd that a good number can help us pass exams or make more money.So everybody should work or study hard and shouldn't make a fuss over a good number, such as "8","18" or "28". 金大话英语培训网

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