2024-06-30 12:34:31 | 金大话英语培训网
高中生写的文章居然被引用到四六级,不害臊,我给上面文章的评价是,第一个分论点与观点矛盾,词汇量小,句式变化不多。下面是一篇谈旅游业发展与传统文化冲突的文章,自己比较下吧。
The booming tourist trade has brought about mass exchange of population between different nations. At first glance, this bridges the understanding and communication between different cultures. In my opinion, however, this fast-growing industry has produced tension between people from different cultural background.
The first barrier for curious tourists from all over the world is the problem of language. The most attractive destinations of tourism are, ironically, less developed areas where the world language --- English, has not been prevalent. Therefore, the direct contact between tourists and local residents has been cut down. The tour guide, normally interpreter too, becomes the only link of communication. But unfortunately, as indicated in any guide-training handbook, the responsibility of a tour guide is to arouse the tourists’ interest and passion rather than present a lecture on cultural difference. Thus, tourists, beyond their expectations, cannot fully understand the cultures which appears to be exotic.
Another obstacle is from the local government. As I argue before, in most of case, the ‘local’ refers to the less developed regions. In order to attract foreign investment and maintain the local tourism industry, the officials, deliberately or not, only hope to show outsiders the positive side of the area, hence, the part of local living. As a result, conducted tours are carefully censored. The tourists, or ‘prisoners’ to some extent, are allowed to see only what the organizers want them to see and no more. A window-shop schedule gives no opportunity to wander off on one’s own. In this way, even for a knowledgeable traveler with practical experience can only ‘see’ the superficial of the local culture. If so, an instant misunderstanding will be falsely shaped.
All things considered, the international tourism contributes absolutely nothing to increasing understanding. Instead, in its way as it is today, a hideous prejudice and misinterpretation will be established.
利与弊:
……(用一个从句引出的话题) gradually becomes a pressing/hot-button/controversial/heated issue/opinion . In my point of view , trere are some advantages/strenthens/merits and disadvantages/weakens/shortcommings . In this essay , I want to compare them in several aspects and suggest some actions to take to solve its bad parts .
接下来讲这个问题的几点缺点。(两三个即可)
然后再讲解决方法,要注意有针对性。
最后再结尾,提出一些设想和对未来的展望就可以了。
其实什么模板套句都是没有什么用的,关键是怎么样让作文更有表现力,这是要长期训练的结果。
我可以举个很简单的例子:
非洲国家有很多人正在遭受饥饿、痛苦和贫穷。
高中生可以这样写:
Many people in African coutries are very poor , pain and hungry .(词汇贫乏句式简单,pain用词不恰当)
一般的大学生可以这样写:
Africans are suffering from stavation , misery and poor life .(虽然有一定的词汇,但是没有表现力,很乏味,相信改卷老师看了太多这样的句子了,已经是睡眼惺忪了。)
英语专业的学生就不一样拉,他们寻求表现力:
Stavation , misery and poverty(贫穷) are embracing tens of thousands of residents(居民) living in African coutries .(不简单,不用人做主语,形象生动,句式有些复杂,用现在分词做定语,词汇量大,表现力强。)
所以写作的时候要绞尽脑汁(rack your brain)来想出一些办法增强表现力,但是这是一个长期的过程,不可能一蹴而就的!
It is of great importance to make and maintain a green campus in our university or college. Obviously, a growing number of people are beginning to realize that it is our duty to do that in the present days, since the concept of “a green world” has become the focus of the society.
The idea of “a green campus” is beyond a green environment. To begin with, the development on the campus is to be sustainable and recycable. Some of the authorities’ budget should be on how to reduce of the waste. What’s more, we’d better be aware of the seriousness of pollution around us. Thus the idea of environmental protection may become a common occurrence in our daily life.
It is necessary that effective actions should be taken to protect our campus from waste and pollution, and hence these activities are to play an increasingly important role in our day-to-day life. Certainly, there is little doubt that further consideration must be paid to our green campuses.
本次作文还是延续四级一贯成熟的风格,偏重校园生活。当然也结合了时下流行的话题,绿色环保。上面这篇文章尽管有些不妥当之处,但能较好的符合四级考试作文的核心:无论题目怎么变,都是以考察学生的语言为核心,不是考查思维和知识面的。所以只需关注语言的应用就行了。还是可以灵活套用固定的套路,中心句+逻辑词的方式,做到不变应万变
I like the campus swimming pool; I like the campus Shixiang Ting; I like the campus classroom building ... ... but I like the campus green.
Enter the school, I guarantee the first thing you must be: "Good green-ah!" Either spring or autumn and winter, the campus had been keeping alive ... ...
Spring, the campus all seem spring, grass in the rain dance, sing rain roses are also beautiful songs accompanied by children, see friends along for the ride even the birds. Listen, they are on campus for the spring, playing a lively "Chunzhi Ge."
Summer, a dark green campus, the vast sky hung a large fireball, the students sweat the heat, the leaves were bright green, emerald green grass, flowers bright red, and really like the one the world's most beautiful the landscape.
If the campus green spring and summer was fresh, feminine, then the spring and summer while the campus was dark green, vigorous.金大话英语培训网
Although the leaves began to litter, but they are not dead, will cover up the campus. Woven into a green carpet.
To the winter, leaves begin to disappear, and the entire campus is only a few pieces that will soon litter the leaves. Some may suspect leaves too little, not noticeable, but you thought of it? In the cold winter could see green leaves, Do not you feel the warmth you feel hope? Even though they were cold and frozen the It was also still in the green of the blood flow of life force is still irresistible!
Ah! Good beautiful green world, ah!
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